My Daughter is Afraid of Mike Tyson

Granted, she's never seen the man, in person or otherwise, but she is afraid of him nonetheless. I know that she is afraid of Mike Tyson because I use his voice as my cell phone’s ringtone. I am that big of a dork. It's a fact that I'm not always proud of, but even after numerous embarrassing moments at video rental places and various other stores, I've always been too lazy to change it. Things change when you have a kid. Bean doesn't like it when people call me and Mike Tyson's voice starts to come out of my phone. In fact she dislikes it so much that nearly every time it happens she starts to cry. I think he scares her. Hell, I'm afraid of him too, it's just that I've always found it kind of funny.

Now, though, in keeping with all the other things in my life that have changed since her arrival, I'm starting to rethink my ringtone choices. So since Bean is my real life equivalent of Little Mac, we'll be going with the soothing sounds of Miss Cat Power instead of Mike Tyson's fighting words. That oughta do it. Now, since Cat Power is decidedly not scary peace will reign in my house even if someone decides to call after 8pm!

However, something’s will not change. My boy Inigo Montoya will continue to alert me of incoming text messages and the Geto Boys will continue to wake me for work. I've been waking up to Damn It Feels Good to Be a Gangsta for so long now that I'm afraid to change it out of fear of never waking up again. Besides, Bean has her own room so she can't even hear all the cussing.