Wedding

D, the Bean and I went to a wedding last night. D’s older brother finally tied the knot with his girlfriend of seven years. The ceremony was beautiful, and the weather for it could not have been any better. The temperature hung around the mid 80’s for the entire service, and while that’s hot for Western Washington it wasn’t unbearable. The couple exchanged their vows on a balcony overlooking a golf course below and when Bean decided to chime in D, in all her mother of the year glory, quickly scooped her up and calmed her down.

Besides learning that D and I have all but forgotten how to party, it was a lot of fun. Her brothers’ speech was great. He made a few of the women, including D, tear up a little bit. She blamed her tears on a bee, but everyone at our table knew that the speech was the culprit.

The event marked the first time that Bean has been in a room full of people who were nearly all family. Everyone wanted to meet her or to say hi, so she was on sensory overload for the entire event. We fed her at the table as we ate. She had a chicken noodle concoction while the rest of us woofed down the delicious assortment of hours devours provided by the weddings caterer. Later, after the newly married couple had their first dance, Bean fell asleep in my arms. All in all, it was a good day.

Shortly after Bean fell asleep in my arms, D and I decided that it was time to make the rounds and say our goodbyes. One of D’s aunts remarked that the first time she brought her twins to a family gathering they both cried all night as a result. At the time I brushed it of, but it turns out that her little pearl of wisdom was true. The Bean had minor little fits all night long. They were spaced out by about 30-45 minute intervals, and each time she would wake up briefly before falling back asleep. As a rule we want her to sleep in her crib. We’ve been working on this for awhile now and, besides our moments of incessant guilt and hand wringing, it has been going pretty good.

However, last night was different. These screams were new. It seemed like, besides being just your normal run of the mill scream fest, Bean was screaming away the remnants of a bad dream each time she awoke. I felt terrible about it, and finally gave in around midnight. What can I say? I’m a soft touch. After making my way to her room to get a look, I found her on all fours. She looked up at me and just wailed, so I scooped her up and tried my best to soothe her. It worked, albeit only briefly, and after crying for another ten minutes, I gave in and brought her to bed with us. She continued her pattern of at least one scream per 45 minutes for the rest of the night, but with her in our room we were both right there to soothe her every time.

Maybe we’re spoiling her. Maybe if we continue giving in then we may only succeed in raising a spoiled little brat. I suppose that it is selfish in some respects too. When she gets like that, something inside me says, “Go save her dad”. I can’t help it. In most cases behaving in this manner is probably defeatist, but last night, she needed us. Sometimes it’s nice to be needed, but if this trend continues we’re going to have to find a happy medium where the Bean can learn some independence without us always feeling terrible about it.